What’s New
I'll begin by saying that on October 15th, the candle lighting and pictures sent from everyone was wonderful 💙👼 Also, let's add that it has made me hyper aware that the holidays are coming and I am not in the best shape for them yet. I probably never will be, but I now realize how difficult it will be to make it through the first year of anything. Instead of "baby's first birthday" and "baby's first Christmas" and "baby's first blah blah"…we now have to find ways to cope through all of these holidays and milestones that we will never have the chance to reach. (*And yes, we may have this chance with another child one day, but our first child will never get those experiences, which straight up sucks.)
I am feeling negative this week. I am sure those that work with me would agree to this statement (sorry y'all). The last few weeks have been difficult.
Here is why. It's October. Halloween is coming and then Thanksgiving and then Christmas and then the new year. J and I were so excited to have a little one in our arms for the holidays this year. We have been planning Halloween costumes pretty much since we found out we were pregnant. And now we don't feel very celebratory. And it's no fun.
And extra bummer…I didn’t ask for any time off for the holidays either. I should have been on a LOA from September until January, but instead, that LOA ended in September. And I don’t even want to deal with negotiating for days off. It's too much work on top of all of the regular work and new stress.
Instead of spending our Halloween out trick-or-treating and spreading COVID-19 with everyone else, this year we will be spending the day with my parents, Riannon and possibly grandma. COVID-19 is likely going to cancel most activities in our area anyways (…which I 100% support. Not just because I am grumpy, but also because I would just love it if COVID-19 would stop spreading.)
I'm hoping the weather is nice so we can have our outdoor movie night at mom and dad's and eat a bunch of unhealthy food 😊
Currently, I am forecasting that Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be just as bad or worse this year. And this brings me to the important part of this post.
The common questions that surround our lives right now are …What do you need help with? And. How can I help?
Here is what you can help with..
We are currently taking any ideas for how to survive the holidays in addition to just getting through it. I have been researching different "adopt a family" ideas so we can buy gifts for a family in need. I am also planning to call the hospital where Franklin was born and see if there are any donations/gifts we can give. Maybe patients who lose their babies during the holiday season could use care packages or some other gifts? If you know of any organizations that may have any donation opportunities or if you have any ideas, please tell me!
Other than donating, I don't know what else to do to make the holiday season seem special this year, and for years to come. I see that some people choose to completely change how they celebrate holidays after losing their children. But I also have read that keeping it simple, and doing the normal celebrations are sometimes easier mentally. I guess we will find out when the times comes. I originally thought that maybe we could go stay in an Airbnb to just escape for a few days, but again, I probably won't have much time off to do that. Any ideas? Fun activities? Traditions you are willing to share? Tips to survive? Pinterest ideas (hahaha)?
